NEW ESTABLISHMENT OPENING!

Opening soon in Carpentersville! Come one, come all to the new establishment, where you can lie and get rewarded!

YES!  Our Village Board has decided that they wanted the families of Carpentersville to benefit like they themselves have in the last election. It’s all about lying and getting elected and now you too can LIE! and get away with it and WIN BIG PRIZES!

Just look at our wonderful LYING Village Board, they LIED and now receive a handsome monthly check from Carpentersville’s taxpaying families.

…so, you’re wondering how you can get into the prize money and what do you have to do to receive these great prizes? Well, come down to the “Liar’s Club” and LIE! YES! Simple as that.

It’s so easy even a Caveman can do it!

Cavemen-tv-24.jpg

Just walk up to our fully stock bar [no I.D. required] and LIE about your age. We’ll take your word, if the LIE is believable we’ll serve you one of our top shelf specials!

After you have drank your fill, let one of our staff [or a couple] carry you to one of our tables, where you can order one of our house favorites. BUT, when it comes to paying the tab, just come up with a clever LIE such as, I’ll be right back my money is in the car.

Please don’t forget our “get out of jail cards”, which will help you get out of a jam with our ever vigilant police force. Just tell the officer that your slurring of  words are due to a brain tumor or some other BIG LIE. The cop will say, “hey that’s the biggest LIE yet!” Then give him our “get out of jail card.” Soon you’ll be on your way home, hic-cup.

So please join us and be part of the loyal Village Board, where we’re moving this Village forward!

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2 Comments

Filed under Aunt Brenda's gossip corner

2 responses to “NEW ESTABLISHMENT OPENING!

  1. Dave Reece

    They lied about the Public Works Facility originally (it is needed in a big way, but not a Taj Mahal), they lied about illegal immigration, they lied about Community Development, they lied about the streets and infastructure improvement plan, they lied about PACE funding, they lied about the 4 years of n0-opinion Audits, they lied about the contaminated well on Lake Marian Rd. they lied about tax and fee increases, they lied about the School bus issue, they lied about their Petitions for election, they lied about Bill Sarto, lets face they are liars and you idiots backed them and you lied right along with them and you morons are looking for sympathy? for shame, for shame.

  2. Dave Reece

    Pat Schultz when are going to call for full investigation of the 4 years of no-opinion Audits like you promised you would do if you were ever elected Trustee, remember when you asked me to join your group Citizens for Fiscal Responsibility. I am sure the proper authorities would be more than willing to conduct the investigation. I remember you saying you are totally convinced that Sigwalt, Boettger, Schuldt, Don Rage and Rage’s friend ” this” Paul Humpfer are involved in some illegal activity with the Villages finances. I hope you are not the sell-out I think you are. I will be praying for your soul, if you still have one

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