Opening soon in Carpentersville! Come one, come all to the new establishment, where you can lie and get rewarded!
YES! Our Village Board has decided that they wanted the families of Carpentersville to benefit like they themselves have in the last election. It’s all about lying and getting elected and now you too can LIE! and get away with it and WIN BIG PRIZES!
Just look at our wonderful LYING Village Board, they LIED and now receive a handsome monthly check from Carpentersville’s taxpaying families.
…so, you’re wondering how you can get into the prize money and what do you have to do to receive these great prizes? Well, come down to the “Liar’s Club” and LIE! YES! Simple as that.
It’s so easy even a Caveman can do it!
Just walk up to our fully stock bar [no I.D. required] and LIE about your age. We’ll take your word, if the LIE is believable we’ll serve you one of our top shelf specials!
After you have drank your fill, let one of our staff [or a couple] carry you to one of our tables, where you can order one of our house favorites. BUT, when it comes to paying the tab, just come up with a clever LIE such as, I’ll be right back my money is in the car.
Please don’t forget our “get out of jail cards”, which will help you get out of a jam with our ever vigilant police force. Just tell the officer that your slurring of words are due to a brain tumor or some other BIG LIE. The cop will say, “hey that’s the biggest LIE yet!” Then give him our “get out of jail card.” Soon you’ll be on your way home, hic-cup.
So please join us and be part of the loyal Village Board, where we’re moving this Village forward!