Monthly Archives: May 2008

COMING SOON! SARTO’S GESTAPO TACTICS!

Sarto and his thugs, will be revealed in this hard hitting expose of the tactics and bullying of trustees and residents alike.

You won’t want to miss this, as it will delve deep into the minds of deranged individuals. These thugs will do anything to scare, intimidate and harrass anyone who dares cross their path, including the families of those associated with them.

2 Comments

Filed under Aunt Brenda's gossip corner

King Sarto’s theme song.


Please sing along with our beloved Carpentersville Village President William Sarto!

They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa

http://www.turoks.net/Cabana/TheyreComingToTakeMeAwayHaHa.htm

from: Dr. Demento’s Delights
Warner Bros. 1975 BS 2855 0698

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to
leave because I’d go berserk?? Well…
You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see
I’ve gone completely out of my mind.. And..

They’re coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They’re coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I’ll be
happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they’re
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

You thought it was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said
that loosing you would make me flip my lid.. RIGHT???
I know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed you laughed and
laughed and then you left, but now you know I’m utterly mad… And..

They’re coming to take me away, ha-haaa,
They’re coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they’re
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you pay me back
for all my kind unselfish loving deeds.. Huh??
Well you just wait, they’ll find you yet and when they do they’ll put you
in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!!! And…

They’re coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They’re coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I’ll be happy
to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they’re coming
to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they’re
coming to take me away, ha-haa!!!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time… (fade out)

Hey, buddy!
Yes officer..
You a head?
No, but I’m catching up, ha ha ha….

original recording by Napoleon XIV

2 Comments

Filed under Aunt Brenda's gossip corner

NEWS FLASH!!! Sarto’s life is endangered!

As first reported right here on the Carpentersville Playhouse, hundreds of squirells have tried to scratch and chew their way into Village President Bill Sarto’s residence. Luckily for Mr. Sarto, children from around his neighborhood, chased the squirells away, when they were looking for marbles around his yard, after reports that Sarto had lost his marbles. Unfortunately, the children left, when none of them could find any marbles.

Today as Bill Sarto left his home through his front door, he was savagely attacked by a mutant squirell.

Just my thoughts,
Brenda

Leave a comment

Filed under Aunt Brenda's gossip corner

King Sarto’s Madness!

Does King Sarto have the same infliction that England’s King George had?

Is there reasons behind his madness? Is it alcohol related, drugs, dementia, or some other illness. Does he actually think he’s right and everyone else is wrong?

King Sarto has gone and thrown mud and insults to all the trustees [except Linda Remariz-Sliwinski], newspapers and anyone who dares questions his authority. He has developed a sense of superiority not seen, since Adolf Hitler’s days of the Third Reich.

Hopefully, he won’t destroy Carpentersville, as Hitler did to Germany to get rid of him. This guy is on a mission to destroy everyone who dare opposes his will. It seems to many of us, that he’ll not only destroy himself, but the Village along with him.

Just my thoughts,
Brenda

6 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Sarto’s Rant-O-Meter!


Clyde, who is pictured with his invention, the Rant-O-Meter, invented this gadget for public safety. As many of us, who have endured countless hours of ranting and ravings from our deranged President Bill Sarto. We have been experiencing dizziness, headaches and a severe pain in our….err, umm, well in the lower part of our body.

A renowned Doctor, who declines to give his name said, “Most human beings can only tolerate no more than ten minutes of extreme rantings from obviously mentally ill people.” He also says, “That the longer you listen to these rantings, the more likely you can suffer sever headaches, dizziness and nausea.” The Doctor concludes with this, “Either scream or leave the area immediately or you risk severe injury to your neuron connections and/or gastric-intestinal system.”

Please be advised, to keep an eye on the Rant-O-Meter and if, it goes past ten minutes, please evacuate the room immediately!!!

Thank God, we have the Rant-O-Meter for the good of Public Health!

Just my thoughts,

Brenda

6 Comments

Filed under Aunt Brenda's gossip corner

Children have scared off the squirrels!

As reported earlier about the squirrel problem over at Bill Sarto’s house, the squirells have been scared off by a horde of children.

 

When I asked the children what they were doing, the children replied, “We heard that Mr. Sarto has lost his marbles!” A couple of kids in disgust shouted, “There ain’t no marbles here!”

 

Later as the kids left with empty hands, the squirrels returned in great numbers.

 

Just my thoughts,

Brenda

Leave a comment

Filed under Aunt Brenda's gossip corner

Court Jester Nate Spain, staying or leaving?

Looks like  Nate Spain is still the Court Jester for King Sarto. He won’t officially resign from the Audit and Finance Commision, yet he says he won’t participate as long as trustee Paul Humpfer, remains as the Chairman of the Audit and Finance Commision. King Sarto says, that he won’t fill in this vacancy, hmmmmm.

 

Nothing like looking after the best interests of Carpentersville.

 

Just my thoughts,

Brenda 

Leave a comment

Filed under Aunt Brenda's gossip corner